Yo

I'm back! After a month and a half (ugh). A few things to update you on;

1) I'm starting a 3 day a week yoga program (SO excited)

2) I'm allergic (recently got the tests back) to casein (all dairy products), banana, tuna, chicken and aspartame. Chicken, really? Yes. Chicken. 

3) I'm no longer signing up for any extreme programs. They don't work for me and I burn out very quickly. It also goes against the reasons I wanted to do this blog. I want my 'get healthy routine' to be realistic and easily adaptable to 'real life.'

4) No more diets. They don't work. I restrict myself, then I go MAD and eat everything in sight. 

5) I desperately need new songs for my workout play lists. 

6) I have not lost any weight/jean sizes. I have gained massive amounts of leg muscle from Ikei performance. My thighs look ridiculous. Ask my mom. I showed her. 

7) I'm watching Bear Grylls and am having a hard time deciding if I would be able to make out with him after seeing him eat huge bugs over and over and over and over. When he takes his shirt off it seems like less of a problem. 

I'll be updating regularly now!

Whining for Wine

So, I was in bed reading the other night YEARNING for some wine. Whining for some wine. Crying for some wine. So, I put my water in a wine glass. So lame and not a good substitution. I laughed at my pathetic-ness and decided to take a photo. Then I sat up in bed without using my hands to help me up. This may sound totally lame to some, but I think it means my core is getting super-d-duper buff.

I win.

Ballet Yoga

Ballet Yoga with Danielle at Sutra Midtown Yoga was AWESOME. Great teacher, great studio. I'm feeling very graceful, relaxed, rejuvenated and 'good sore.' I'm also feeling glow-y. Danielle had us choose a mantra when the class started. I chose glow. She reminded us to check in and focus on our mantra throughout the class, which was a very nice reminder. Danielle also gave great instruction and mini-massages during the end part where you just lie there and relax. It was heavenly! 

I can't wait to attend more classes there! 

Fore more information on the studio, please see the above link. 

For more information on Matthew and Rebecca, please visit CENPHO for their we are CenPho profile! 

Music Monday

I just heard that Patrick Swayze died. :(

Sutra Midtown Yoga

Matt and Rebecca Fitz of Sutra Midtown Yoga have invited me to try their Ballet Yoga class. I'm very excited! Good thing I have some experience. Ahem, ahem.

Mom, please send my tutus.

Thanks.

I'll let you know how it goes!

BTW, Sutra Midtown Yoga has been nominated for BEST yoga studio in Phoenix by Arizona Foothills Magazine.
You can vote for them HERE!

last weekend

last weekend I went to see the kiddos (the family I used to nanny for still lets me come over from time to time to catch up on some baby love) in Flagstaff. 

instead of crunches, I exercised my abs with laughing over silly faces.

instead of lunges I exercised my legs twirling around and around with the twins...

instead of free weights I exercised my arms giving BIG underdog pushes on the swings

and by picking up this little one after she got an owie from a scooter spill.

(she switched to the bike...a TWO wheeler :))

but mostly there was just lots of snuggling........

Burned!

I burned myself steaming nutritious vegetables. :( 

It looks like a meth sore. 

Actually, I have only seen those in movies. 

So, it looks like what I think a for-the-reals meth sore would look like.

The Latest

I think that

 The Chad

 is angry with me because

 I missed last Friday.

 I was dog sitting

 Pugsly

 and Lola

 and sometimes my blackberry alarm doesn’t go off.

 This is not an issue at home

thanks to my Disney Princess Alarm Clock.

 It is not just me sleeping through the blackberry alarm,

 I swear.

I even tested it when I was awake.

 SO, I over slept last Friday.

I woke up at 6:45

 (I can’t believe I just

 wrote that I over-slept by waking

 up at 6:45… Blech! Shake it off)

 and knew I wouldn’t be able to feed the dogs,

 let them out,

show up late,

do my tractor tire flippage,

shower and make it to work on time.

 I called on my lunch hour

 to say sorry and wrote an email.

I also wanted to find out

 if we were working out on

Labor Day.

I didn’t hear anything back

so I assumed no labor day workout

(everyone needs a day off, right?

 Even former Olympic weight

 lifters like The Chad)

and stayed in Flagstaff for extra snuggle time.

So I show up today at 6:30 a.m.

and there is no The Chad to be found.

I waited 15 minutes and then left.

Guess what I did when I left?

I’m going to give you choices;

Taylor left Ikei Performance and

a) Went home and hopped back in her bed

b) Went to breakfast

c) Google mapped her nearest 24 fitness via her blackberry and did a workout all by herself with no yelling or pushing from The Chad.

d) Went to work super early so that she could read blogs

If you chose C you are totally correct.

 Go ME.

24 hour fitness was fine. There were a lot of chatty women in the locker room. I get a little nervous with naked chatty women. I grew up in a naked house, but really? Please don’t talk to me without at least a towel on. I don’t know where to look.

So, I’m huddled in a corner, blow drying my hair with one hand, covering my eyes with the other, and a clothed woman

(thankthelord)

comes up and does the,

 “OMG is that your natural color?”

I get this a lot being a natural blonde

(especially when people see me

 with no make-upand my face is see through

 and without brows or lashes),

but somehow it never gets old.

I reply, “Yes, yes it is my natural color,”

while shaking my hair like

 I’m in a Pantene Pro-V commercial.

Then she goes on to tell me

about her son’s friend who has pretty hair

 like me and is just a natural beauty like me.

I smile and nod my head.

Bring on the early morning praise!

Feed my ego!

After all, I just spent 30 minutes

 on the cross trainer next to a

 geriatric woman

 USING OXYGEN

who was pedaling faster than I.

She said

(not the geriatric oxygen lady),

 “When you were born your hair must have been WHITE!”

 “Actually,” I reply,

 “my hair was red when I was born.

 Then it turned blonde.”

Clothed Lady: “Really? How funny!”

ME: “Yes, I know.

Do you want to talk about me

 some more?

I could tell you about

 my childhood…

I won lots of awards,

spelling bees and speech meets.

I could recite some Ann Frank for you?

Perhaps the I Have a Dream Speech?

 A Shel Silverstien poem, perhaps?”

JK.

I Just said,

“Yes, I know. It is weird.”

Then I went to work.

P.S. Want to see the ugliest red-deaded baby ever?

there she is! her name is taylor.

don't worry.

 I turned into the cutest kid

 ever a few months later.

please see;

exhibit a:

exhibit b:

SOOOO much cuter than this kid, for example;

ha-ha. I win.

fun times en el gimnasio

I almost made roomie fall off of the treadmill at the gym yesterday. It was awesome. I started hard core speed walking complete with air punches. She had to jump off. So then, I started looking for funny speed walking videos on youtube and there really aren't very many! very disappointing. I think I should make some.

Music Monday- Delayed!

One of my fave get-me-moving song of the week.

Food pick of the week

I'm super into these lately.

So yum.

And perfect for my high protein lifestyle.

Just in case you're wondering, I'd cut a bitch for some mac and cheese.

Exercise TV

So, I've been spending a lot of time on the cross trainer in my complex gym. It's a great way to get some cardio in because it is right downstairs. It also has a huge TV and I'm usually alone (or with roomie) which is great. My number one favorite show to watch while sweating is Top Chef. I know, food porn. Torturous, right? I just can't resist Padma and Tom. I want them to be my boyfriend and bff. Looking good Tom.

However, I flipped to America's Got Talent tonight and watched one of the acts. They were actually pretty decent but what got my attention was David Hasslehoff saying, "You know, what I loved about that act was the HONESTY. And that is what performing is all about."

And I know, don't hassle the hoff, but really?? Mitch Buchannon?

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Baywatch. As in, LOVE Baywatch.

Especially the episode when Mitch almost gets killed by multiple=personality disorder pre-matrix Carrie-Ann Moss and then he just boogie boards his troubles away with hobester.....

But honesty? Not a part of your performance, sir.

Then, I wikipedia'd Mitch Buchannon and found this;

Mitch also has several skill sets, playing the part of police officer equally as well as lifeguard. Mitch was also a navy seal who trained people in hand to hand combat. He also excels at defusing hostage situations.

I had no idea Mitch had such an impressive resume!

well hello there!

Sorry for being MIA.

Things have BUSY lately!

Good busy. Lots of working stories to share, lots of recipes to give you! Stay tuned. I'm working on a killer new website for you all.

More updates tomorrow!

Ugh

Today was the type of day that only a stiff drink can fix. Unfortunately, there are NO BOOZE allowed on Chad's food plan for the next two weeks. So, I got home from a shitty day and hit the cross trainer. Definitely not as satisfying as a margarita or five, but I'm proud of myself for not giving in! I also worked out last night after work. GO ME!

Now, I am watching More to Love (more on that later. these desperate girls are making me mad) and eating delicious sauteed mushrooms with gobs of garlic over a turkey patty with steamed vegetables. I definitely need to work on the eating more consistently throughout the day, but other than that things are going well. Today marks ONE WEEK. I haven't decided if I should weigh myself, or just track my progress through jean size? Inches? Body fat percentage?

SUGGESTIONS ANYONE?!?!?!

Monday 8/24/09

I had a GREAT workout with Chad today. It left me exhausted and gasping for breath, but not crippled for the rest of the day. I worked out with two other people today. They were super in shape and we all did the same thing, which made me feel good. They did one more round of the circuit than I did, but they were huffing and puffing the ENTIRE time, just like someone else who was in the gym. I know you're not supposed to compare yourself to others when it comes to exercising (or life in general) but I did, and do and probably always will. I think it's natural to compare.

Today's circuit:

Flip a tractor tire 10 times

15 Pull Ups (or, attempt to do 15 pull ups)

Lift 20 pounds (in each arm) 20 times from ground, to shoulders, to the sky.

Pound the aforementioned tractor tire 25 times (each arm) with a sledgehammer (VERY satisfying after having to flip the thing!)

30 frog leaps.

The weekend was good. Very low key, very low carbohydrate. :)

I made lots of eggs and lots of meat.

The high protein is giving me a stomach ache, especially in the morning, but it is getting better. I'm incorporating lots of vegetables into my omelette's and am trying to find ways to trick myself into not missing carbohydrates.

For example (this is something I've done for awhile, but started doing again now that I'm on this high protein plan), have you ever eaten bolognese over steamed broccoli and cauliflower instead of pasta? The cauliflower seems starchy (even though it is not) and the crunchiness of the vegetables is very satisfying!

I'm allowed to eat fruit on Sunday, so I made a yummy dish (my mom made it a few months ago while she was visiting me) with cucumber, apple and onion. Dice everything and mix together.

Drizzle olive oil and rice vinegar.

Sprinkle with sea salt.

Enjoy!

Very refreshing, summery and good for satisfying salty/crunchy cravings.

I was getting SO sick of eating so many almonds, until I found delicious Marcona Almonds! I bought regular and rosemary at Trader Joe's and they are delicious. 2 grams of fat more than regular almonds (so I eat a few less) and 1 gram LESS carbohydrates! YUM.

music monday

this is definitely on my iPod workout mix this week.

i am not ashamed.

Fail Friday!

I had a bad workout today with Chad. I quit 2/3 into it and only completed one of the two circuits I was supposed to. I’ve been in a funk all day. I was still very sore waking up this morning, which I’m fine with, but listen….
I realize the title of this project is operation: kick my ass. I expected nothing less from my exercise, but I can’t even stand up straight. I’m walking like an osteoporosis ridden 90 year old.
I am not a football player. I do not need to make a team in 12 weeks. I am not a contestant on biggest loser. My weigh-ins do not determine whether or not I continue training with a professional. I am in this for the long haul. It will be far more advantageous for me to take it down a notch and be able to complete my workouts than to (pardon the cliché, but it is literally what I did) throw in the towel and go home.
I have a job. I do not enjoy walking around like QuasimoTAY. I do not mind being very sore. Actually, in the past, I’ve kind of liked it. It reminds me of the amount of effort I put forth in the workout. I DO mind not being able to sleep at night because every time I shift in my sleep my muscles scream at me. There’s a big difference.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

8/20/09

I swam laps today. It helped stretch my sore muscles. I also went in the hot tub, which was glorious. Then, I went to Trader Joe's and bought out their meat section. All of it. My new Chad Ikei diet is heavy on the protein.

I can't move

So, Stephanie walks into my office this morning.
I’m sitting on my chair staring out the window.

Stephanie: What are you doing?

Taylor: I really need to use the restroom, so I’m trying to focus so that I don’t have to anymore.

S: Why don’t you just go to the bathroom?

T: It’s really hard for me to get up, walk, and sitting down/getting up from the toilet presents a huge problem in and of itself.

S: When do you work-out again?

T: I do cardio on my own this afternoon, but return to the torture chamber tomorrow morning.

S: Do you want me to get you a wheelchair?

T: No, but some adult diapers would be sweet. Do you think our co-workers would judge me if I peed myself at work?

S: Normall, no. But the regional vice-presidents are all here. It might be kind of weird.

T: I’ll take them all to Ikei Performance with me tomorrow. Then they’ll understand.

1 down, 364 to go

1 down, 37 to go.

I woke up BRIGHT and early. Yes, that alarm says 5:22 AM.

Gnarly, I know.

And yes, I have a

Disney Princess Alarm Clock.

Possibly the BEST thing I've ever purchased from Target.

It sings, "A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes"

AND

makes stars shine onto my ceiling.

Shut your mouths, I love it.

And HEY, look! That's the sunrise. And I'm not even watching it after a night of being up all night drinking with college friends! Super weird.

So, we started our workout today with the most awful thing EVER.

We took pictures of me in a sports bra and shorts.

Biggest Loser Style.

Not cool.

Then, we walked into the gym where Chad said we would be establishing my

baseline.

Baseline: Awesome. Baseline. That sounds super mellow.

Like the base in a song.

Steady, consistent, in the background.

Don’t even know it’s there until it’s gone.

I was wrong.

It was not mellow.

It was not easy.

And my baseline is not that great.

It is a circuit to test how in shape you are.

Wonder where I fall on that chart?

Probably somewhere between

Aretha Franklin & John Candy,

I’m guessing.

The first exercise of the circuit is

‘Jumping Pull Ups.’

Ten of them.

Here’s how that conversation went:

Chad Ikei: Ok, you’re going to stand here

and put your hands on the bar.

Then you’re going to jump and do a pull up.

TaylorK: Why am I going to jump?

Is there a prize up there for me?

CI: No. You’re going to jump

to give yourself momentum

so that you can do a full pull up.

TK: HA!

Full pull up.

That’s funny.

CI: Ok, jump.

TK: Is there candy up there?

When I jump, will I see it?

CI: No.

TK: Popcorn?

Is there popcorn on top of the bar thing?

I love popcorn.

With butter.

CI: No.

TK: Is there something sparkly

up there to encourage me to jump?!?!

Like something diamond-y?

Did you get me a “First day of Training,”

PRESENT?!?!?!

Chad! That’s so nice!

CI: No.

TK: Is there money up there?

CI: No.

TK: Why am I jumping again?

CI: Baseline.

TK: Shit.

Second, I had to do push-ups. Ten of them.
Third, I did squats. 15 of them.
Fourth, I had to sit-ups.

EW.

20 of them.

(I may have fudaroo’d 2 times while

doing sit ups. So embarrassing, but I'm pretty sure

the bumpin' music drowned them out)
Then, I had to run outside

to the fence and back.

The fence is a long long way.

For me.
I did this circuit FOUR TIMES!!!!!!

That makes:
40 jumping pull-ups
40 push ups
60 squats

(I fell into my office chair

this morning because my thigh muscles are jellified)
80 sit-ups
Lots o’ jogging

(walking when Chad wasn’t looking).
Then, I was done.

I took a cold shower and got ready

for work and ate my (not) delicious

breakfast of 3 ounces of beef and three eggs.

And here we are…….more updates soon!

The night before it all begins.....

So, I finished my last

buttery bowl of popcorn
& glass (bottle)

of wine last night.

Oh how I will miss you

Orville Redenbacher

& Kim Crawford.

Sigh.....

Well, my last for at

least the next three weeks……….

The plan:

Time to start a new adventure. A very very healthy adventure. For the next year I’ll check out the toughest, funnest, most interesting and most unique workouts in Arizona. I’ll explore new ways of eating (without getting TOO faddish) and will feature healthy choices on local restaurants’ menus. I'll also explore the reasons for my weight gain/loss/gain/loss/gain/loss. Be it emotional, medical or mineral.

All for

YOU,
dear readers!

Well, also for my health.

The goal:

To be happier and healthier

(and less heavy)by my 28th birthday.

The inspiration:

The blogging (and subsequent book and movie) of Julie Powell’s (blogger isn't letting me hyperlink. http://www.juliepowell.blogspot.com/) life-changing year; & the HILARIOUS book, Such a Pretty Fat, written by one of my MOST favorite authors, Jen Lancaster (http://www.jennsylvania.com/)

Step 1:

Tomorrow I begin training with Chad Ikei of Ikei Performance. Chad is a champion weight lifter and athletic trainer. The guy trains REAL athletes. Like, the NFL and MLB ones. And cage fighters. Scary shit, right? He has agreed to train me three days a week for three months (to start). I have made it very clear, however, that I will not be wearing hats or wielding swords (please check out Chad's website) unless there is a reinstatement of booze. Because really, what's the point in wearing ridiculous headgear and playing with weapons if you're not drunk?