Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Today was the type of day that only a stiff drink can fix. Unfortunately, there are NO BOOZE allowed on Chad's food plan for the next two weeks. So, I got home from a shitty day and hit the cross trainer. Definitely not as satisfying as a margarita or five, but I'm proud of myself for not giving in! I also worked out last night after work. GO ME!
Now, I am watching More to Love (more on that later. these desperate girls are making me mad) and eating delicious sauteed mushrooms with gobs of garlic over a turkey patty with steamed vegetables. I definitely need to work on the eating more consistently throughout the day, but other than that things are going well. Today marks ONE WEEK. I haven't decided if I should weigh myself, or just track my progress through jean size? Inches? Body fat percentage?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday 8/24/09

I had a GREAT workout with Chad today. It left me exhausted and gasping for breath, but not crippled for the rest of the day. I worked out with two other people today. They were super in shape and we all did the same thing, which made me feel good. They did one more round of the circuit than I did, but they were huffing and puffing the ENTIRE time, just like someone else who was in the gym. I know you're not supposed to compare yourself to others when it comes to exercising (or life in general) but I did, and do and probably always will. I think it's natural to compare.
Today's circuit:
Flip a tractor tire 10 times
15 Pull Ups (or, attempt to do 15 pull ups)
Lift 20 pounds (in each arm) 20 times from ground, to shoulders, to the sky.
Pound the aforementioned tractor tire 25 times (each arm) with a sledgehammer (VERY satisfying after having to flip the thing!)
30 frog leaps.
The weekend was good. Very low key, very low carbohydrate. :)
I made lots of eggs and lots of meat.
The high protein is giving me a stomach ache, especially in the morning, but it is getting better. I'm incorporating lots of vegetables into my omelette's and am trying to find ways to trick myself into not missing carbohydrates.
For example (this is something I've done for awhile, but started doing again now that I'm on this high protein plan), have you ever eaten bolognese over steamed broccoli and cauliflower instead of pasta? The cauliflower seems starchy (even though it is not) and the crunchiness of the vegetables is very satisfying!
I'm allowed to eat fruit on Sunday, so I made a yummy dish (my mom made it a few months ago while she was visiting me) with cucumber, apple and onion. Dice everything and mix together.
Drizzle olive oil and rice vinegar.
Sprinkle with sea salt.
Very refreshing, summery and good for satisfying salty/crunchy cravings.
I was getting SO sick of eating so many almonds, until I found delicious Marcona Almonds! I bought regular and rosemary at Trader Joe's and they are delicious. 2 grams of fat more than regular almonds (so I eat a few less) and 1 gram LESS carbohydrates! YUM.

music monday

this is definitely on my iPod workout mix this week.
i am not ashamed.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Fail Friday!

I had a bad workout today with Chad. I quit 2/3 into it and only completed one of the two circuits I was supposed to. I’ve been in a funk all day. I was still very sore waking up this morning, which I’m fine with, but listen….
I realize the title of this project is operation: kick my ass. I expected nothing less from my exercise, but I can’t even stand up straight. I’m walking like an osteoporosis ridden 90 year old.
I am not a football player. I do not need to make a team in 12 weeks. I am not a contestant on biggest loser. My weigh-ins do not determine whether or not I continue training with a professional. I am in this for the long haul. It will be far more advantageous for me to take it down a notch and be able to complete my workouts than to (pardon the cliché, but it is literally what I did) throw in the towel and go home.
I have a job. I do not enjoy walking around like QuasimoTAY. I do not mind being very sore. Actually, in the past, I’ve kind of liked it. It reminds me of the amount of effort I put forth in the workout. I DO mind not being able to sleep at night because every time I shift in my sleep my muscles scream at me. There’s a big difference.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


I swam laps today. It helped stretch my sore muscles. I also went in the hot tub, which was glorious. Then, I went to Trader Joe's and bought out their meat section. All of it. My new Chad Ikei diet is heavy on the protein.

I can't move

So, Stephanie walks into my office this morning.
I’m sitting on my chair staring out the window.

Stephanie: What are you doing?

Taylor: I really need to use the restroom, so I’m trying to focus so that I don’t have to anymore.
S: Why don’t you just go to the bathroom?
T: It’s really hard for me to get up, walk, and sitting down/getting up from the toilet presents a huge problem in and of itself.
S: When do you work-out again?
T: I do cardio on my own this afternoon, but return to the torture chamber tomorrow morning.
S: Do you want me to get you a wheelchair?
T: No, but some adult diapers would be sweet. Do you think our co-workers would judge me if I peed myself at work?
S: Normall, no. But the regional vice-presidents are all here. It might be kind of weird.
T: I’ll take them all to Ikei Performance with me tomorrow. Then they’ll understand.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

1 down, 364 to go

1 down, 37 to go.
I woke up BRIGHT and early. Yes, that alarm says 5:22 AM.
Gnarly, I know.
And yes, I have a
Disney Princess Alarm Clock.
Possibly the BEST thing I've ever purchased from Target.
It sings, "A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes"
makes stars shine onto my ceiling.
Shut your mouths, I love it.

And HEY, look! That's the sunrise. And I'm not even watching it after a night of being up all night drinking with college friends! Super weird.

So, we started our workout today with the most awful thing EVER.
We took pictures of me in a sports bra and shorts.
Biggest Loser Style.
Not cool.
Then, we walked into the gym where Chad said we would be establishing my
Baseline: Awesome. Baseline. That sounds super mellow.
Like the base in a song.
Steady, consistent, in the background.
Don’t even know it’s there until it’s gone.
I was wrong.
It was not mellow.
It was not easy.
And my baseline is not that great.
It is a circuit to test how in shape you are.
Wonder where I fall on that chart?
Probably somewhere between
Aretha Franklin & John Candy,
I’m guessing.
The first exercise of the circuit is
‘Jumping Pull Ups.’
Ten of them.
Here’s how that conversation went:

Chad Ikei: Ok, you’re going to stand here
and put your hands on the bar.
Then you’re going to jump and do a pull up.

TaylorK: Why am I going to jump?
Is there a prize up there for me?

CI: No. You’re going to jump
to give yourself momentum
so that you can do a full pull up.
Full pull up.
That’s funny.

CI: Ok, jump.
TK: Is there candy up there?
When I jump, will I see it?
CI: No.
TK: Popcorn?
Is there popcorn on top of the bar thing?
I love popcorn.
With butter.
CI: No.

TK: Is there something sparkly
up there to encourage me to jump?!?!
Like something diamond-y?
Did you get me a “First day of Training,”
Chad! That’s so nice!

CI: No.
TK: Is there money up there?

CI: No.

TK: Why am I jumping again?
CI: Baseline.

TK: Shit.

Second, I had to do push-ups. Ten of them.
Third, I did squats. 15 of them.
Fourth, I had to sit-ups.
20 of them.
(I may have fudaroo’d 2 times while
doing sit ups. So embarrassing, but I'm pretty sure
the bumpin' music drowned them out)
Then, I had to run outside
to the fence and back.
The fence is a long long way.
For me.
I did this circuit FOUR TIMES!!!!!!

That makes:
40 jumping pull-ups
40 push ups
60 squats
(I fell into my office chair
this morning because my thigh muscles are jellified)
80 sit-ups
Lots o’ jogging
(walking when Chad wasn’t looking).
Then, I was done.
I took a cold shower and got ready
for work and ate my (not) delicious
breakfast of 3 ounces of beef and three eggs.
And here we are…….more updates soon!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The night before it all begins.....

So, I finished my last
buttery bowl of popcorn
& glass (bottle)
of wine last night.
Oh how I will miss you
Orville Redenbacher
& Kim Crawford.
Well, my last for at
least the next three weeks……….

The plan:
Time to start a new adventure. A very very healthy adventure. For the next year I’ll check out the toughest, funnest, most interesting and most unique workouts in Arizona. I’ll explore new ways of eating (without getting TOO faddish) and will feature healthy choices on local restaurants’ menus. I'll also explore the reasons for my weight gain/loss/gain/loss/gain/loss. Be it emotional, medical or mineral.

All for
dear readers!
Well, also for my health.

The goal:
To be happier and healthier
(and less heavy)by my 28th birthday.

The inspiration:
The blogging (and subsequent book and movie) of Julie Powell’s (blogger isn't letting me hyperlink. http://www.juliepowell.blogspot.com/) life-changing year; & the HILARIOUS book, Such a Pretty Fat, written by one of my MOST favorite authors, Jen Lancaster (http://www.jennsylvania.com/)
Step 1:
Tomorrow I begin training with Chad Ikei of Ikei Performance. Chad is a champion weight lifter and athletic trainer. The guy trains REAL athletes. Like, the NFL and MLB ones. And cage fighters. Scary shit, right? He has agreed to train me three days a week for three months (to start). I have made it very clear, however, that I will not be wearing hats or wielding swords (please check out Chad's website) unless there is a reinstatement of booze. Because really, what's the point in wearing ridiculous headgear and playing with weapons if you're not drunk?