Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Latest

I think that
 The Chad
 is angry with me because
 I missed last Friday.
 I was dog sitting
 Pugsly
 and Lola
 and sometimes my blackberry alarm doesn’t go off.
 This is not an issue at home
 It is not just me sleeping through the blackberry alarm,
 I swear.
I even tested it when I was awake.
 SO, I over slept last Friday.
I woke up at 6:45
 (I can’t believe I just
 wrote that I over-slept by waking
 up at 6:45… Blech! Shake it off)
 and knew I wouldn’t be able to feed the dogs,
 let them out,
show up late,
do my tractor tire flippage,
shower and make it to work on time.
 I called on my lunch hour
 to say sorry and wrote an email.
I also wanted to find out
 if we were working out on
Labor Day.
I didn’t hear anything back
so I assumed no labor day workout
(everyone needs a day off, right?
 Even former Olympic weight
 lifters like The Chad)
and stayed in Flagstaff for extra snuggle time.
So I show up today at 6:30 a.m.
and there is no The Chad to be found.
I waited 15 minutes and then left.
Guess what I did when I left?
I’m going to give you choices;

Taylor left Ikei Performance and

a) Went home and hopped back in her bed

b) Went to breakfast

c) Google mapped her nearest 24 fitness via her blackberry and did a workout all by herself with no yelling or pushing from The Chad.

d) Went to work super early so that she could read blogs

If you chose C you are totally correct.
 Go ME.

24 hour fitness was fine. There were a lot of chatty women in the locker room. I get a little nervous with naked chatty women. I grew up in a naked house, but really? Please don’t talk to me without at least a towel on. I don’t know where to look.

So, I’m huddled in a corner, blow drying my hair with one hand, covering my eyes with the other, and a clothed woman
(thankthelord)
comes up and does the,
 “OMG is that your natural color?”
I get this a lot being a natural blonde
(especially when people see me
 with no make-upand my face is see through
 and without brows or lashes),
but somehow it never gets old.
I reply, “Yes, yes it is my natural color,”
while shaking my hair like
 I’m in a Pantene Pro-V commercial.
Then she goes on to tell me
about her son’s friend who has pretty hair
 like me and is just a natural beauty like me.
I smile and nod my head.
Bring on the early morning praise!
Feed my ego!
After all, I just spent 30 minutes
 on the cross trainer next to a
 geriatric woman
 USING OXYGEN
who was pedaling faster than I.
She said
(not the geriatric oxygen lady),
 “When you were born your hair must have been WHITE!”
 “Actually,” I reply,
 “my hair was red when I was born.
 Then it turned blonde.”
Clothed Lady: “Really? How funny!”
ME: “Yes, I know.
Do you want to talk about me
 some more?
I could tell you about
 my childhood…
I won lots of awards,
spelling bees and speech meets.
I could recite some Ann Frank for you?
Perhaps the I Have a Dream Speech?
 A Shel Silverstien poem, perhaps?”
JK.
I Just said,
“Yes, I know. It is weird.”

Then I went to work.

P.S. Want to see the ugliest red-deaded baby ever?
there she is! her name is taylor.
don't worry.
 I turned into the cutest kid
 ever a few months later.
please see;
exhibit a:
exhibit b:
SOOOO much cuter than this kid, for example;
ha-ha. I win.

2 comments:

  1. good for you working out by yourself!! are you gonna go back to chad still?

    when i was born, i had BLACK hair which turned red and then super light blonde (same blonde as yours when you were little - mine just hasn't stayed that way). :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. hello. that other kid, the naked one in the bowl is "cute as a button". AND that photo of you, is simply a really bad photo. ok... so maybe you had the tiniest little akward stage. but look how K U T E you are now. i was so sad when that scary photographer person came to our house. Baby Photographers of America. As a new mom i was "challenged" and just allowed this very nerdy photo person to position your brand new self into odd poses. you were a very new born and were not designed to be sitting up with a Jon Bennet Ramsey pose going on. sorry. a big giant do over, if you really could have do overs in live. Take a survey, I bet that most people your age have that same bad photo of themselves. Unless they had savvy parents. and, the photos cost as much as our house payment. and we gladly paid tons o' cash for the first professional photographs of our baby girl. i love you ymd

    ReplyDelete